Hard to imagine, but I actually bought a CD tonight! Yes Paid in full, for an ACTUAL not Pirated copy... I don't plan on making it a habbit, but I got Original Pirate Material by The Streets, I already had all the songs...but it's an album so good I couldn't help but buy it......... I totally dig it.. and it came with music videos!!! score!

So if anyone reads this, and doesn't yet know, it's been a REALLY LONG TIME since I last saw Erin, it certainly puts alot of strain on me, but it's ok, i've been doing my best to stay happy regardless, and with more of less success I guess i'm happy... it's just late at this point, and that's when it's the worst, so i'm going to type to try to ease myself... if that makes any sence... It doesn't help that i'm listening to my new album, which isn't sad, but makes me feel somehow nostalgic, it's hard to explain, but i'm trying to maintain a mood, i'm at home, that's not helping either, I feel so alone here... which I don't really understand... but it's how it is... again, the nostalga, I should just go to bed, and hope to have nice dreams (which co-incidentally never happens, I haven't drempt about anything in quite some time, it kinda worries me, people without dreams aren't people) anyway i'm a night owl, and I told dad i'd wait up for Tara (my sister) to come back from the movies... so here I sit, relativly bored, definentally by myself, and missing the thing I need most.... but I feel pathetic sometimes... but i'm holding my mood, or maybe not :) kind of ironic... sleep will help though... and marching band tomorrow, won't get her off my mind, but will distract my senses... if that makes a sence I don't know... When you most need to get up you have no energy... how true... how true.... ahhhh, nothing more to write, maybe ninja's will attack me, liven things up... i'm just trying to stay positive.

IX
For mark! No sooner was I fairly found
Pledged to the plain, after a pace or two,
Than, pausing to throw backwards a last view
O'er the safe road, 'twas gone; grey plain all round;
Nothing but plain to the horizon's bound.
I might go on, naught else remained to do.

So I had my first observation today, 5th grade music class... And boy am I glad I did, I think I remember again why I want to teach, which is kinda cool... 5th graders are fun... especially since it was such a good group, I might get into more detail later, but for now, i'm going to get some food Yum!

VIII
So, quiet as despair I turned from him,
That hateful cripple, out of his highway
Into the path he pointed. All the day
Had been a dreary one at best, and dim
Was settling to its close, yet shot one grim
Red leer to see the plain catch its estray.

This is you zone, it's like blackjack
He might get the ace or the top one
So organise your two's and three's into a run then you'll have fucked him son
And for that you'll be the better one


VII
Thus, I had so long suffered in this quest,
Heard failure prophesied so oft, been writ
So many times among 'The Band' to wit,
The knights who to the Dark Tower's search addressed
Their steps - that just to fail as they, seemed best,
And all the doubt was now - should I be fit?

To see you when I wake up, is a gift I didn't think could be real
To know that you feel the same, as I do, is a Three-fold utopian dream
You do something to me
That I can't explain
So would I be out of line, If I said
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on, the empty pillow next to mine
You have only been gone ten days, but already I am wasting away
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon
But I need you to know, that I care
And I miss you

-- that's just for you sweetie, like you didn't already know

VI
When some discuss if near the other graves
be room enough for this, and when a day
Suits best for carrying the corpse away,
With care about the banners, scarves and staves
And still the man hears all, and only craves
He may not shame such tender love and stay.

The hills aren't alive
not like they once were
the sound of music
only comes from below

There once was a man from the Valley
He tried to write songs on Finale
So he'd pick up his horn
But it's sounds were forlorn
So he only played out in the alley

V
As when a sick man very near to death
Seems dead indeed, and feels begin and end
The tears and takes the farewell of each friend,
And hears one bit the other go, draw breath
Freelier outside, ('since all is o'er,' he saith
And the blow fallen no grieving can amend;')

I'm like crazy hungry, today has actually been a semi-torerable day... As in not bad, Strohman told me today at my lesson that my sound on my jazz mouthpiece is totally killer, so that made me happy at least... it's so nice to actually feel like i've accomplished something with my life, no matter how trivial... It's important to me anyway... So i've started re-reading Steven King's the Dark Tower series, so it'll be fresh in my mind for the release of book 5 and sometime next year books 6 and 7 and then it'll be done, and that'll be one finished series in my life.. although definentally one of the best... I just wish Robert Jordan would get a move on with the Wheel of Time, I still want to read the newest one, even though it's apperently 600+ pages of nothing happening... but ohh well, hopefully he'll pick it up...

Ahh Maceo Parker, good player, song is making me feel good, shame it'll be over soon... it's still a painful 40 minutes untill I get to eat my only meal of the day... but at least i'll be in good company, Jason Bachman and Dan Melius... Good company is worth finding I tell yah... This week is somehow going blessedly quick, although I still have quite alot to accomplish, conducting recetatives, making a lesson plan, and an observation (so much for sleeping in fridays) Ohh well, That's enough from me for now.

IV
For, what with my whole world-wide wandering,
What with my search drawn out through years, my hope
Dwindled into a ghost not fit to cope
With that obstreperous joy success would bring,
I hardly tried now to rebuke the spring
My heart made, finding failure in its scope.

Ughhh, the days I shouldn't get out of bed.


III
If at his counsel I should turn aside
Into that ominous tract which, all agree,
Hides the Dark Tower. Yet acquiescingly
I did turn as he pointed, neither pride
Now hope rekindling at the end descried,
So much as gladness that some end might be.

Yeah I thought I couldn't find two of the cd's I had to take back to the library today, but I found them under the bed... go figure... I really need to do the laundry and clean the room it's such a mess... if only I had the motivation and time... if only... So in other news I finally tried my new cd burner yo, I started it up and well, it said a minute 30 to go, I thought it was for that track, IT WAS FOR THE WHOLE CD! It's absolutally crazy... I don't even know what to do withmyself with burning that fast, it's 52X and my processor can actually do that! Crazy...

II
What else should he be set for, with his staff?
What, save to waylay with his lies, ensnare
All travellers who might find him posted there,
And ask the road? I guessed what skull-like laugh
Would break, what crutch 'gin write my epitaph
For pastime in the dusty thoroughfare.

Mornings, bah, who needs them... what I do need is to do some laundry yee su... I tell yah... just enjoying a relaxing afternoon... sorta, it's too hot in here... my mouth is dry as well... i'll write more later, once I have more life in me.


I
My first thought was, he lied in every word,
That hoary cripple, with malicious eye
Askance to watch the workings of his lie
On mine, and mouth scarce able to afford
Suppression of the glee, that pursed and scored
Its edge, at one more victim gained thereby.

So life has reached a new blah... it's not nessisarily bad, not really good either... just blah... blah blah blah, notthing interesting is hhappening, I hope small jazz can briing thiss to and end tonight... not that there are many people reading thiis... sometimess it feels like i'm talking to mmyself, well I am, but that's beyyond the point... i need this blah to end, end, end... END I SAY... At lleast my computer iis fully ffunctional, I didn't teest the burner but itt's in there, aand it's recognized, so i'm assuming (dangerous I know) but i'm assuming it workks... sorry my updating has beeen sporadiic, I'll ttry too keep it alittle morre constant in the coming days, more updates on a dailly basis... it's my aniveersary todaay 2 years 7 months, and it feels like it's been that long since i've seen Erin, but it's ok, we're busy and it's just what we need to deal with... i'll wait for her forever, but somedays feel like forevver, Love you sweeetiie! whenever I see you I know itt'll be worth the wait...

The Marching band took 1st place at the Dillsburg parade, although apperently two fo my saxophones had an altercation... So I didn't have to deal with it yet, but i'm sure i'll have to soon. Apperently one of them (know who but i'm not naming names) told another member of the section that they're a worthless piece of shit, and an embarrassment to the section... while this may or may not be true, it shouldn't have been said, it's obviously not going to help anything... I understand her frustration, it doesn't mean she was right for vocalizing it that way... ohh well, highschool politics, I could write a book.

I want to write a Jazz book for saxophone, I wonder if I did it, if I could manage to get it published... it'd be interesting to find out... Get a company to publish it, it's just a thought, it's probably never going to get done, and I don't really have alot of credibility to sell it on top of that... but I think it would be neat. I've just decided that i'm going to include a subliminal message in this blog... maybe you'll be able to find it.. yup now it's definentally there, my subliminal message... creepy huh.. that I might have put a suggestion in your brain... it shouldn't be that hard to figure out though... well that just made my life seem a little more interesting, it's wearing off fast, but still...

Bored

A drunken punchup at a wedding