I think i've been approaching life wrong... how about that ? :)

Thank you friends,
you give me more than you know.

So, having a hard time of things, I can't seem to really get in a groove with anything i'm doing... I feel...mmm unbalanced... which happens a few times a year I suppose, it's just trying to find it again. But where it is, I do not know.

It's been said that numbers don't lie, but that was before you had time to work your magic on the rigid little bastards.

God, time is slow... especially when your completly alone in a computer lab with nothing to do... time is so relativly slow down here, I think I can almost start to see an infinite number of hamsters with infinite mass.... either way Dan Stief is bored as shit.

So andy robets has schedualed my lesson for 9 o'clock tonight, ohh what fun, now the only night I really had free is not free anymore... ohh well, better than the morning...

!!!NEWS BULLETIN!!!
Has anyone seen or heard from my girlfriend? Because I haven't, since she left our humble apartment sunday, she hasn't been online and dispite me calling at least 6 times a day she never seems to be there? I miss her damn it... Ohh well, not much I can do about it but keep calling...

Pogonophobia is the fear of beards.... well if your Pogonophobic you better be staying away from me Jason Bachman, and Jordan Miller... because we are full out in a beard off! What is a beard off you ask? Well, we can nither trim or cut our beards... many people are confused and think its a contest to grow the best beard... this is untrue, it's a contest to see who can go the longest without trimming or shaving... It's a test of testostorone and willpower.... and how long the girlfriends will allow it..... Either way, I got a compliment today that my beard looked nice! and this was from someone who didn't know abou the beard off! so I guess i'm not in any direct threat of loosing what little dignaty I have.

Drawing class is fun, tedious, difficult, taxing, but fun... it's rare a say that about a class, my first two drawings managed a B+ as well, which hardly ruined my day! Mr. Massad, is sick good at what he does, said himself he was a child protigy, I hope a little bit of that rubs off on me however... he liked some of my work today, so that's a start, a good good start in my book... I must say i'm not the most talented person in that class, but I pay attention way better than the rest of them... i've never had so many people in a class not remember what we were supposed to be doing... ohh well, I guess i'm the say way... it just feels different in that studio.....

I dunno, I'm done for now... leave comments, or don't, I hardly know who i'm talking to anymore... right-o cheers...

I realized tonight that I do so love doing my drawing homework, the art studio is just nice to relax, put on good music, and get lost in graphite on paper... ahh, relaxion I love you so.

So school is full out in session.... and as usual i'm up to my eyebrows in stuff I should be doing.
Screw the things I should be doing... being a senior is quite possibly the strangest experience of my life to date. I think it's so off because I don't feel like i've been here 4 years... And to be honest i'm dreading graduation.. really dreading it, I mean just when you've established where you stand, everyone gets scattered. I also believe, for the most part, college friends are far more solid than highschool friends... now of course there are those exceptions, ie. bachman, who is high school friend turned college friend... but I dunno, I just feel more comfortable with my college pals... maybe it's the similarities in intrest I dunno.

I think the hardest part of being a senior is being on top of the totem pole... If you have a drive for wealth that can cause you to accomplish alot... me, I couldn't give a rats ass about money. It's nice, but it's not a goal... Not being the best has always pushed me forward, having someone to beat out... I don't feel like I have that right now... In high school it was Sheffer and DJ, then in college it was Stu, but after my (meager) defeat of stu in small jazz, and now his graduation... I have no one to want to be like... leaving me with myself.

And God knows I don't feel like myself lately, I'm pretty much having an identity crisis when you get right down to it... There is still the dan people know, and the dan I feel like... and when did I get so horribly horribly cynical???? because I am... I don't nessisarily want to be, but I am anyway... bah, I don't really know... So, for now it's one day at a time, and I guess I wouldn't have gotten into the music bussiness if I had wanted a nice ordinary predictable life... but, ohh well. I suppose I still like being a musician. and we perservere.



Trying to explain enlightenment, is like a frog explaining dry land to a tadpole.