So school is full out in session.... and as usual i'm up to my eyebrows in stuff I should be doing.
Screw the things I should be doing... being a senior is quite possibly the strangest experience of my life to date. I think it's so off because I don't feel like i've been here 4 years... And to be honest i'm dreading graduation.. really dreading it, I mean just when you've established where you stand, everyone gets scattered. I also believe, for the most part, college friends are far more solid than highschool friends... now of course there are those exceptions, ie. bachman, who is high school friend turned college friend... but I dunno, I just feel more comfortable with my college pals... maybe it's the similarities in intrest I dunno.

I think the hardest part of being a senior is being on top of the totem pole... If you have a drive for wealth that can cause you to accomplish alot... me, I couldn't give a rats ass about money. It's nice, but it's not a goal... Not being the best has always pushed me forward, having someone to beat out... I don't feel like I have that right now... In high school it was Sheffer and DJ, then in college it was Stu, but after my (meager) defeat of stu in small jazz, and now his graduation... I have no one to want to be like... leaving me with myself.

And God knows I don't feel like myself lately, I'm pretty much having an identity crisis when you get right down to it... There is still the dan people know, and the dan I feel like... and when did I get so horribly horribly cynical???? because I am... I don't nessisarily want to be, but I am anyway... bah, I don't really know... So, for now it's one day at a time, and I guess I wouldn't have gotten into the music bussiness if I had wanted a nice ordinary predictable life... but, ohh well. I suppose I still like being a musician. and we perservere.



Trying to explain enlightenment, is like a frog explaining dry land to a tadpole.